*This is a long post*
People who are not new to the web or even very familiar with dating sites may know the terms BBW (big beautiful woman/women) or SSBBW (or super sized big beautiful woman/women). I never heard of this term until a few years ago when a friend said she wanted to go to Austin to a BBW club to meet men.
I am still slightly confused about these terms as they are sometimes used loosely. A bbw is much more different than a ssbbw. A search gave me many different sizes, weights, etc. From my understanding a BBW is a woman who is smaller than a size 26 while a SSBBW would of course be any woman larger than a size 26. Another thing that comes to mind is that there could be many women of the same dress size but some would be consiered obese while others would be considered average (this of course is due to height).
Anyway, the reason I came about this blog post after doing a search for BBW blogs. The search came about after being fed up listening to my mom obsess about weight. This didn't bother me before but last Thanksgiving we went to visit my aunt and I spent a whole week stuck in the house listening to my mom and aunt talk and it went a little something like this:
M: Have you seem her? Oh my god, she is so fat! She is just FAT!
A: Oh god yes, but have you seen ******* she gained about 100 pounds she's horribly fat!
M: Oh, did you hear about this actress? She lost so much weight! She is so thin!
A: Yes, I saw but what about ******* she lost A LOT of weight, very thin.
Before seeing my aunt this past Thanksgiving I hadn't seen her in almost 8 years. My aunt was about 220 pounds, which is considered obese for her weight (she's 5'1). When I saw her she was half the woman that she used to be, literally! She is extremely thin, it's actually concerning, she looks sickly thin. She had told my mom that she was so obsessed with her weight that she would exercise for over 3 hours a day everyday.
I then started to realize that my mom is also obsessed with her weight, looking back my mom has always been on a diet, as long as I can remember. I'm obese according to the BMI standard and according to my mom it's also the reason I am a diabetic. Though weight ties in with diabetes, my friend (from the beginning of the post) weighs over 100 pounds more than myself and she is not diabetic. I guess that my diabetes comes from both my weight and genes (my aunt from this post and her father, my grandfather, are both diabetics). Either way, I can remember my mom putting me on diets since I was about 8 or 9 years old. I began to drink diet coke at age 10.
It's safe to say that I have always been self-conscious about my weight, not only did my mom put me on diets but visiting family in Mexico during the summer also resulted in diets and a lot of criticism and bad mouthing about my weight. So when my friend said that she wanted to go to a BBW club to meet men I was confused. I didn't realize that women actually liked the idea of being bigger. My friend has the self-outlook of a super model, she probably has better self-esteem than most average or healthy size friends that I have.
After reading that blog post I looked up BBW on Wikipedia and it's categorized under fat fetish. Has anyone seen a category for average sized fetish or skinny fetish? Why does loving a larger woman have to be a fetish?
A while back I was watching my guilty pleasure Dr. Phil and it was about BBWS and the men who loved them and he brought up a good point. Turning down a woman for not being fat is the same as turning down a woman for being fat. The motives are the same, you want the woman to look as you want her to look. On the same show a woman was upset because she wanted to lose weight for health reasons but her husband didn't agree. The husband would bring home donuts, chips and anything that she said she wouldn't eat to lose weight, he would do this as a way to keep her overweight and to even make her even bigger.
Women shouldn't be forced to look the way that a man wants. A woman should love her body no matter if she weighs 100 pounds or 500 pounds. She should feel beautiful no matter what she looks like. So after many years of being put on diets, being made fun of or criticized by relatives and classmates I am slowly learning to love my body and yes I do want to lose weight but not to change my appearance but to be healthier due to my illness.
So women, love your body it's the only one you're given (unless you believe in reincarnation!).
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3 comments:
My mother suffered from bulimia for several years as a result I never really had a good role model of healthy body image.
Now my sister is considering lap-band surgery to lose weight and it's weird. She went to a seminar about the process and of all the attendees only 2 or 3 were male. People are pushing for me to consider it as well.
It annoys me.
Bariatric Surgery is scary, it's basically taking a body part that's working right (processing your food) and screwing with it so it doesn't work as well in an effort to make you lose weight. The fact that any female above a size eight is starting to have it directly or indirectly recommended to her is even more terrifying.
Have you heard about the HAES movement? It's short for "Health at Every Size" and refers to the concept that each person has a set point that their body is trying to be, so we should worry not about weight but just about being healthy, working out, eating stuff that's good for us...
You can find out more at http://kateharding.net/but-dont-you-realize-fat-is-unhealthy/
There's also the Fat Acceptance Movement (FA for short) and the Size Acceptance movement (for those who worry that Fat Acceptance suggests an exclusion of people who don't identify as fat). Kate Harding has more on these. The movements work on reclaiming "fat" as a descriptive term and not a value judgment, as well as fighting prejudice and getting people to realise they don't need to spend their whole lives obsessing over their weights or dieting. Good people.
Have you heard about the HAES movement?I have seen it on kissbbw.c o m.There are many big beautiful women with big bras and big butt.
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